I’m reading this news article from England about a dead porpoise.
So what you say, don’t porpoises die every day?
So what’s the news and why remark on it?
Well it suffered an end I heard friends wish for when I was young and stupider, it screwed itself to death. But that’s not the actual funny part of the this story, nope.
How much do you think a 5 foot long porpoise weighs? 110 pounds. With that image of a likely slippery, 5 foot long, 110 pound dead sea mammal in mind I ask: Would you lug that over a mile only to abandon it in an alley?
Someone did … maybe they saw a cop and thought they’d have to explain the dead porpoise in the tarp, I don’t know.
But the best part was something else that was said to put this in context: “We got a call once about a dolphin that was stuffed inside a phone box in Kent.”
A Dolphin in a Phone Box … Why would someone do that?
Is life that boring over in jolly old England? Was it a prank?
Oh, the porpoise was an elderly male who didn’t have the strength to both feed and fuck. Guess the little head wins out in men no matter the species.